Ready to Inspire
I decided to listen to TED talks to find inspiration for my podcast, so that I can start the podcast to inspire women. After I find one that I like, my goal is to build relationships so I can have these women on my show and talk with them directly. I will also speak with any women who are happy and fulfilled with what they are doing – so they may be names you know, or they may be moms in the area that have something interesting to say. Today I’m talking about a Ted talk that was entitled, “How to stop screwing yourself over” – a name that I didn’t like and was not drawn to. It didn’t sound positive to me but I gave it a shot – the speakers name is Mel Robbins and she is an author, a life coach and a syndicated radio talk show host.
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Break it Down
Her claim is that she helps people get what they want when they feel stuck – this was music to my ears because that’s virtually the unspoken mantra of my show. The first thing Mel does in her talk is to tell the audience to take a second and think about what it is that they want. And be specific. “It’s a simple thing, but it is not easy”. The real question is, why don’t we have what we want? We certainly have access to information on virtually anything through the web. Her answer to why we don’t have is because we use the word, FINE. When someone asks you how you are doing and you say you are fine, you buy into that and then we believe that we are fine. When your narrative is that you are fine, then you will become stuck in your life. We want to feel alive, not fine. I’m doing the podcast because I don’t want to just be fine. I do want to challenge myself and explore more options. I’m having a very difficult time because I’m not technical, but it’s all okay – I’m finding ways to work it out. Mel also says that we get amazing ideas all the time, and then we park them. I agree with that. In fact, that happens to me all the time. It just happened to me over Christmas – after telling several people as well as family members about an idea, I did a bunch of work, and now it sits on my desktop on my computer because I’m lazy and didn’t pursue it. She also talks about the fact that while you may have a great idea, and a dream, because it takes so much work, you are never going to “feel like it”, ever! Again, so true. It’s frustrating and hard and takes a lot of energy to do something that you’ve never done before, but if you really want it, you will find a way. Scientists call this activation energy – going from auto pilot to doing something new. Does someone who needs to lose weight fee like eating boiled chicken and peas? No. But do you want to fit into your skinny jeans? Yes. That requires activation energy to go out for a walk, and doing something physical. Mel says that our brain has two speeds. Auto pilot, which is what our brain knows and likes…and Emergency Break – your brain will hit the break when you do something that is out of your routine. It wants to protect you. When we feel dissatisfied, it means that we need more because some needs are not being met. We must be uncomfortable and use activation energy to get moving. You need to marry your thoughts with your ideas. I believe with all my heart that this is the crux of the issue with moms who took a break and are having trouble getting back into the game. We can wish it to happen but until we actually do what we need to make it happen, it never will. We have to use this activation energy to motivate ourselves and propel forwards. And it doesn’t matter what forward is to you – just as long as you have movement and you feel good!
Mel Robbins: Melanie "Mel" Robbins is an American on-air CNN commentator, television host, life coach, author, motivational speaker, contributing editor for Success. She was born October 6, 1968, is married and has 3 children. Her most recent book, The 5 Second Rule, is a best seller to help people “Get what they want”. “The 5 Second Rule is a blueprint for taking action that’s simple to use, easy to remember, and actually works (it’s backed by science).”
If you can count 5-4-3-2-1… you can have everything you want.